2013 Baseball Season Begins....

Baseball season is now in full swing.  Last year I made the mistake of not watching for registration information in January. I didn't anticipate that baseball registration would happen beginning of February when it doesn't start until April.  My bad.  Sam ended up having to play rec center t-ball last year, which was okay.  He liked it, which is what mattered.  

You can read a bit more about that HERE and HERE.

It was fun to watch him learn some of the basics of baseball and improve upon his hitting/catching.  

I grew up watching my baby brothers play baseball for a league and I can honestly say those are some of my favorite memories of them.  There is just something about little league baseball that gets my adrenaline going.  I love it.  I love the smell of the snack bar hot dogs grilling in the distance and indulging in far too many sunflower seeds.  I love the eruptions of cheer when a good play is made and I love to watch those huff and puff moments when a bad call is made.  I was totally consumed when my brother's played baseball.  I may have even been one of those individuals who allowed a bad call get the best of me...

Lets face it, it's simply hard to not get emotionally riled up while watching this game.  

I hate to say this, but rec center ball just didn't do it for me.  The feeling wasn't the same.  Maybe it's something to do with the fact you are playing in a large, open, grassy field among several other games at the same time.  There were no bleachers, snack bar, dirt... You have to have the dirt.

A slide into home just isn't the same without that red dirt.  

This year I made certain that I didn't miss league ball registration.  

I couldn't wait to have that ball park feel again.  

It's been so long since my brother's played I didn't realize until I was there, opening ceremonies, this year just how baseball deprived I have been.  It was a cold morning... bitter wind, uncomfortable... but I didn't care.  I was there, soaking in every single moment. 

I'm so excited to finally be able to watch my own boy play.  I'm so excited to sink my teeth into another ball park hot dog.  I'm so excited to spend my evenings soaking in too much sun while my boy plays a game that we both love.  

I'M JUST SO EXCITED! 

This year Sam plays for the NY Mets.

Sam's first game was on the 6th of April.  

We had to be to the park early for pictures, which were immediately followed by opening ceremonies, which was immediately followed by his first game of the season.  

This game isn't serious for him yet.  He is still just expected to learn the basics... and the ultimate goals this year are that these kids learn to hit the ball without a tee, run the bases in the right direction, and learn to get in front of the ball while in the outfield.  I was so proud watching these little boys and girls in their first game.  They all hit without the tee, they all ran in the right direction, AND they all did pretty well making some plays.  Every time a ball was picked up in the outfield... they always threw it to first base in an attempt to get that runner out.  Granted there is no score keeping at this age and everyone gets a turn at bat each inning, but these boys and girls get it.  They did so well.  

Sam got a couple really good hits in too.  He did really well in the outfield.  He didn't run clear across the field to try to get to a ball before a team mate.  He was content waiting for the balls to come in his direction before he went after them.  

Game two happened that following Thursday and they did just as well as the first.  In game two our team even made a play that would have resulted in the first baseman getting the runner out had we been keeping score.  It was great.  I was all smiles.  

I can't wait for this season to continue and for our days to become a little warmer.  The heat of the sun will be the icing on the cake to a wonderful first year of League Baseball.  

GO METS!

Owls and Mustaches... Totally acceptable ways to show the love...

I've been working SO hard to make the kids valentines this year ones worth remembering.  I incorporated a few different ideas I saw online, my kids personalities, and of course added my own little personal unique touch.  I'm SO PROUD of the end results and have been SO anxious to share them.

Who doesn't love those fun photo booth pics? 

I had forgotten just what a fun little reminder of those good times with friends they were until I had some done with the kids and their friends a couple months ago.

My kids are always pulling those little photo strips out and laughing at them.  So much personality in them too.

I thought that it would be the perfect way to showcase my kids personalities on their valentines.  I also wanted the ever so popular chalkboard look along with them so I headed over to my dad's place where my little sister has a very large chalkboard painted on the wall, camera in hand, and took some shots of my kids.  First I had intended on writing the little messages on the chalkboard, but quickly realized I wasn't all that great at making it look good.  I decided I would later attempt to create the chalkboard look in photoshop.  I'm WAY more comfortable with that.

Brenna is a huge Beatle's fan and I wanted to incorporate one of her favorite songs they sing into her valentines.  All things considered, especially on Valentine's Day, "'Owl' You Need Is Love".

Brenna will be handing out some cute little owl suckers along with these cute little photo strips.  

Sam on the other hand is such a goof ball and having seen online a valentine that read "I "mustache" you a question, will you be my valentine?" I decided to go along with that same theme, but used a little different phrase I also found online that I felt suited him better.  Such a perfect fit for this little guy! 

Unfortunately I couldn't find some pre-made mustache suckers to go along with his valentines so I made some foam mustaches, which I then slid onto the sucker stick so when the are eating it it looks like they have a lil' mustache.  

I had both the kids valentines printed this weekend and I am getting anxious for them to hand them out to their friends.  

I already gave a peek of these on facebook, but these beauties below are what is being mailed to other close friends and family.  

Are you doing anything fun and creative for your kids to hand out to their friends?  I'd love to see!

Tomlin's Go Ice Skating...

New years eve we had passes for the SLCeve event downtown.  This event is basically a huge party with a variety of activities for all ages at various locations downtown.  All within a few blocks of one another.  Tracks runs free downtown that night (may even be every weekend night actually) so you basically hop on and ride from location to location to check it all out.  We stayed close to the Gateway mall the majority of the time as this is where all the kid friendly stuff was taking place.  Unfortunately for us, we weren't really aware that the kid new years countdown ended at 7pm and that the insane amount of people would really limit what the kids could participate in.  Face painting line was a minimum of an hour long... just for some amateurs to paint a firework on their face?  Crazy.  The room with the light bright and glowing mega blocks was so small that the kids (and adults) were feeling very crowded and anxious to get out of there. We did spend a fair amount of time at Discovery Gateway, but even that place was a crazy disaster.  What it boils down to is that by the time 7pm rolled around and the kid stuff fizzled out we were left with two very antsy kids who had yet had their fill of fun for the night.  We decided to check out the movies playing at Clark Planetarium as they were playing about every half hour to 45 min, and they went late into the night.  These movies just so happened to be included in our passes.  Unfortunately for us again, it wasn't made known at the time of purchase that these tickets were limited and that you had to reserve your movie ahead of time. This meant we didn't get to see a movie either.  My mom purchased the tickets and at this point she was very frustrated at the waste of money they were.  All they did for us really was get us into discovery gateway for the kids to drop one plastic ball into the air lifting thing, play in the water with some broken boats, color on a color wheel with some already used paper, and make a party hat with minimal supplies.  Eventually we did venture down to temple square.  We enjoyed an exciting first time ride on the trax train and wandered around enjoying the Christmas light display.  We even were able to catch a little mini-concert as we were warming our toes in one of the buildings there at temple square.  New Years eve really wasn't a total bust.  We enjoyed one another's company very much and in the end it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable experience.  Wasted money aside.  

That night though, what my kids really wanted to do was to go to the Galivan Center and ice skate out on their outdoor rink.  I knew after already having been allowed to do very little with our tickets due to crowd that if we were to attempt the ice skating the kids would just be let down again.  It wasn't worth it to fight the cold (15 degrees mind you) any longer to show up and the rink be at full capacity as I knew it would be.  So instead we wrapped up the night early, headed back to our car on trax, and arrived home just before 11pm with two kids that were already zonked out for the night.  

Because they had to miss out on the ice skating that night I decided that this weekend I would take them to an indoor rink not to far from our house.  I unfortunately woke that morning feeling under the weather, but pushed through and took them anyway.  They didn't know what we were doing, I only informed them I had a surprise.  They spent the morning Saturday trying to guess what their surprise was.  At different points in the morning both kids expressed that they hoped we were going ice skating.  Little did they know they guessed right, but they didn't really think that a mom with a cough would take them to the cold.

We headed out to the ice skating rink, where Grammy and Uncle Bronson were going to meet us.  The kids didn't know they were coming either.  

Upon arriving we were greeted by a huge billboard of a speed skater.  Immediately they knew that we were indeed going ice skating.  While Brenna was jumping up and down in the back seat screaming "THANK YOU MOMMY!" over and over agian, Sam thanked me with a big kiss!

It's good to know your kids appreciate your efforts and there is no better way to express that than with some loves for Mommy.

The kids had so much fun.  Brenna just hopped right on that ice and took off on her own, circling that rink over and over and over again.  Sam remained a bit timid and just couldn't get his balance so I rented him a little walker to assist him and after that he took off just like his sissy.  Eventually he got brave enough, with a little boosted confidence, and ventured out without the walker and did remarkably well.  They both thought that their pre-fall twist, turns, and tumbles were real ice skating tricks and that it was pretty cool they could do tricks without even trying. HA! We spent a good couple hours skating.  Neither of the kids wanted to leave and both suggested that we come back again the next day.  This is definitely a repeat activity for our family, only next time I will insist that Dad join us.

Who else wants to join us?

It was a great weekend.  Today Bill took the kids to the gun show with his Dad (Grandpa T.), while I am stuck in bed with a miserable cough, headache, and itching ears.  The invisible heavyweight that is sitting on my chest is welcome to leave anytime (preferably NOW!)

The start of a new year brings with it the start of some new traditions...

If you missed my post about resolutions...

GO HEAR

Because you will see that these new traditions ARE NOT resolutions.  They are simply my first steps at attempting to achieve some of my goals. 

Goals 4 and 15 to be exact.

I really need to get better with this blogging thing.  I know I've said that a million times over, but I swear I mean it whole heartily every time I have said it.  I don't need to get better at it because I think I have a ton of readers or because I think that the potential for a ton of readers is even there, but rather for myself and my family.  Blogging is a great way of documenting life.  It is so easy to just bypass life's little moments without a second thought, which then results in forgotten memories all together.  In light of all the loss that last year brought to our family (you can read about that here if you missed that post too) I have come to realize that I am SO GUILTY of allowing those special moments and memories pass me by without properly embedding them in my mind.  I don't want to allow any more of those moments pass me by, I don't want to forget another moment of the life I have have been so graciously given, nor do I want my children to even have to forget.  It is my job as their parent to ensure that they have beautiful moments worth remembering and that they have the proper documentation to share those memories with their children and children's children.  

I'm not good at scrap-booking.  I've tried and failed miserably.  Not only that, but it is just a far too tedious way of documenting for my personality.  I don't do well with time consuming, and scrap-booking is EXACTLY that.  

Though it is a great way of beautifully documenting life, It's just not the way for me.  Believe me, sometimes I wish it was because the things you can do with scrap-booking these days is AMAZING.  Don't get me wrong, I do want to have some hard copies of pictures, in books, that we can pull out anytime we want, but I those just need to be quick and easy.  There is a way of doing that now with instagram and all the cool photo printing options that are available now.  I just haven't decided exactly what I want to do quite yet.  

I do love writing.  It is has always been an area of great interest and enjoyment for me.  From a young age I got a high out of writing and the ability to be creative with it.  I may not be all that good at it, but I sure do love it.  This is why blogging has such importance to me.  I feel that I am more capable of painting a good picture of those beautiful moments through writing than I am through scrap-booking. Some may think that writing is a far more time consuming way of documenting than scrap-booking, but believe me if you have ever spent a day with me attempting to be a creative, original, fun, and impressive scrap-booker then you'll know that it's not my forte. I'm not horrible at it, but it literally takes me like 8 hours to create like 4 pages.  I just don't have that kind of time.  HA!

Not sure how this post turned into a whole book on trying to justify why I want to get better at blogging, but I'll get back on track now.

This post touches on two goals.

Documenting/Blogging and recording more home videos.  This also kind of touches a bit on my desire to create some form of memory books as well.  This year I decided that I wanted to start recording my kids at the beginning of each new year.  Interview style.  Me behind the camera asking them questions.  Things about themselves that are likely to change throughout the years.  Questions that will highlight their personalities at that particular time.  After recording that first video I decided it would be a good idea to add a few pictures to the video that highlight some important moments of the past year.  Granted there isn't the ability to tell the story behind every picture, but at the very least you can see the changes that occur in them over those 12 months.  These videos can then be shared via social networking with family and friends and can also be put on DVD and slipped inside a memory book for myself and the kids to enjoy for years to come.  

Please forgive me for the poor quality of these videos.  First off my camera really isn't made for video making and secondly it's my first attempt at ever using video editing software.  Maybe I ought to add a video making/editing class to my 2013 Goals?  

Anyway, without further ado, I present to you

"Remembering 2012~Brenna and Sam"
(warning: they are kind of lengthy, sorry)

First Winter Snow

This month has really been a pretty mild one.  Temperatures have been consistently high for this time of year.  We did manage to get one good snow storm as of current.  It hit us a couple of weeks ago.  It literally snowed for over 24 hours straight.  Much of the valley got well over 6 inches, but some parts got even more.  It was a very wet and dense snow, which made it very difficult to shovel.  However, this is the BEST snow for snowman making.  I'm really a poor sport when it comes to this wet, white stuff.  I'm not a big fan of winter or the snow so I encouraged the kids to make a snowman alone.  It was a bust.  Neither of the kids could get a snowball started well enough to begin rolling it into larger balls for a snowman.  They sure did enjoy playing in it though.  We quickly learned that they had both outgrown their winter gear so we had to head out afterward and find some attire suitable for them now.  TALK ABOUT EXPENSIVE!  I was SO not happy about how much $$$ we had to drop on new snow gear.  Lets hope they can get some good use out of it.  Last winter was pretty mild with very little snow... I'm hoping that we at least have a white winter.  I will be content with that much snow.  

Catching Snowflakes....

Attempting to make a Snowman (Brenna is clearly unhappy with the lack of progress)

Tomlin Halloween 2012

Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone let's talk about what we did on Halloween shall we?  

(I've got to get myself caught up!)

Our morning started WAY too early, as most mornings do.  I was rushing as usual to get myself and both kids pulled together for the festivities at school.  Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for Bill) Bill took the day off work so he could come and watch the kids in the Halloween parade at school (because now that I work at the school, I don't get to do that anymore).  This meant that he was home to help me get the kids ready.  As the minutes quickly passed and I was struggling to get us all ready and out the door, I summoned Bill to come help pull Sam's make-up together.  It's a good thing to because I'm not good at that monster stuff.  Cute I can do, but Scary..... Not so much.  

Mummy Sam

Claudine Wolf (A Monster High Doll)

Off to school we went, even I was dressed up.  Good thing about being a teacher is it gives you a good excuse to be young again.

Sam was first in line at the parade, right behind a teacher of course. Bill nearly missed getting his picture because he wouldn't have thought that our boy would start out the show.  His homemade costume was quite a hit though, so I think he was a very good choice to get the fun rolling.  

Lesson learned and he was ready for Brenna.  

Like I said, I got to join in the fun too... My little preschoolers were all so cute.  

Just a lil' Witchy

Halloween night was pretty mellow and low key.  We went to a nearby church for a trunk or treat then headed out in our neighborhood.  The kids tired quickly so we didn't go far.  I'm okay with that.  Our neighborhood was hoppin' and I felt really bad because we had this cool decorated house with no one home to hand out the goodies.  Next year we will have to do better with our planning.  Maybe I will just have Bill take the kids trick or treating and I'll sit home and enjoy the quiet. HA!

Our little Karate Kid...

I am SO behind on my blogging.  So far behind that I have actually had a bit of anxiety about it.  Crazy I know for something that I do because I love to do it, not because I have to do it.  Really though, even though I love to blog when I get behind I feel like I am losing the moment in it's entirety.  I'm sure all bloggers understand this RIGHT???

It's no secret by now that Sam is in Karate.  He's been going to Karate for about 3 Months (give or take) now and was able to participate in his first belt test.  I have not sat and watched him in class because I know my being there would be more of a distraction than he needs so I have opted to stay away during class time.  He tells me frequently about breaking wood with his hands and weapon practice, but unfortunately I still can't attest to this even after his testing.  Those areas weren't anything he was tested on.  Darn! 

Anyway,  his testing took place on Oct. 27th.  We had to go to new territory so this set the anxiety in for Sam.  He was out of his element and nervous to be testing in front of someone he hasn't ever seen, in a place he had never stepped foot in.  The place was SUPER small and OVERLY crowded.  I'm hoping that not all tests take place there because it was quite stuffy, even I was feeling claustrophobic.  Totally unlike me.  Those who know Bill can only begin to imagine how he was feeling in such closed quarters, not good.  The temperature in that place is a whole other topic... you can only begin to imagine the heat in a room packed with excited parents and nervous students.  BRUTAL!  Not to mention the sweaty smell that quickly consumed the tiny room.  Ugh. 

Okay, okay back to the Karate...
I'm still so unfamiliar with this Karate stuff, but I do know that he was tested on several different 'techniques' (for lack of a better word).  The Master went through a whole series of different blocks, punches, kicks... A language I just don't understand.  Poor Sam was holding back so much.  He was so small standing there in that room... I wasn't 100% of how well he was doing either because it was such unfamiliar territory for me.  One thing he was though is CUTE!  I loved watching him do his thing.  Whether he was doing it  right or wrong he made it worth watching.  

Yes, he had gum in his mouth and NO, it's not allowed in the Dojo...
Oops.  Lesson learned.  The Master let him know and made him spit it out eventually.  

All in all he did well.  He earned his yellow belt and was so proud of himself.  We are proud of him too.  I hope in the future I can learn more about Karate and understand what it is that he is working so hard to achieve.  He loves it and I will love it because he does.  However, I do think I need to watch Karate Kid a time or two to understand it all.  LOL

After he tested, we took him out for lunch at our favorite ice cream joint... Leatherby's.  Can't get any better than that can it?  

Oh, and know what else is cool???

Sam even got his name embroidered on his new yellow belt. 

Guess what name he chose.....

None other than SAM I AM!  

Such a good sport that kid.  

What I've been up to...

**CHAOS**

Doesn't even begin to describe what my life has become.

I have found myself asking "What did I get myself into?", 

But then on days like today (we had a school fund raising carnival) when I am casually walking the school grounds watching my own kids play I am humbly reminded why I got myself into what I have. Why I chose this career path for myself. 

I was reminded that I don't just have 2 kids anymore...

I have a whole ton of them, all under the age of 5.

As I enjoyed this time with my own kids, I was frequently approached by my preschool kids with big hugs and big smiles.  I loved just how excited they were to see ME!

(as if I am someone special)

I'll tell you what, they sure did make me feel special.

Days like today put a whole new perspective on my job, my title, the role I play in these little ones lives... 

And it intensifies my purpose in their world, my world....

This world.  

I thoroughly enjoy being a teacher and interacting with such adorable, fun, crazy, little ones everyday.  I am learning a great deal about myself, along with my own children through this process as well.  Lessons that I don't feel I would have ever learned, nor appreciated as much as I do now.  I am learning what it really means to be patient and I am learning that I am totally capable of being patient.  I have gained a new appreciation for what amazing children I have and for the minimal time I now get to spend with them everyday.  The time away from one another has been good because we enjoy our time together SO MUCH MORE!  I enjoy being with my kids everyday, but not really being with  them.  We are at school together and it is relieving to know that though they have both embarked upon their own little journey's and gaining independence, I am still very close (Brenna's classroom is right next door to mine actually).  It's given us just the amount of space we needed without really having to be that far away from one another. They find comfort in knowing that I am there in that school somewhere, and I the same.  It is also fun to have those moments when we do pass by one another in the hallways and we get so excited to see one another.  I know that this excitement won't last forever, so I am soaking it in as much as possible.

People told me that being a teacher required a great deal of commitment, this I thought I understood.  I didn't really.  I wasn't quite prepared for just how much time, money, and effort teachers put in daily just to ensure that their students are getting the very best education they can give.  I was given my first assignment to lesson plan for two days.  I wasn't prepared for the fact that it would take me 5 HOURS to plan for just these two days.  Providing fun, engaging, cost effective, new, and exciting lessons really is difficult to do.  I wasn't prepared for that.  I'm sure that this is something that I will get better with in time, but this was 5 hours of unpaid time that I devoted to these children.  As I was planning these couple of lessons, I realized that I wasn't doing it because I had to, but because I wanted to.  It was fun and important to me.  Last night I was up until 1am because time got away from me as I searched the web for more lesson ideas.  I quickly became consumed by all the fun ideas I had flowing through my brain... 

I am SO EXCITED to be doing this!

 I haven't really ever felt "at home" in a job until now.  

Though I miss my free time, as limited as it was, I'm not quite certain I would want to go back to just being at home.  I've needed something different for awhile, I just didn't realize it until now.  Not that I don't love, or appreciate the time I did have as a stay at home mom... it was just time for a change and this is a change I think that we all can handle and benefit from.  

Due to the new demands that my job requires, my family has had to really commit to a pretty strict schedule.  The kids are very active in after school extra curricular activities, which requires that we all play a role in life at home.  The kids haven't really been too keen on the "helping out" thing, but I have really put my foot down on their cleanliness issues.  Before it was easy for me to just pick up after them, but now I simply don't have the time.  It's been hard to hold them accountable for their own messes, but thus far I have stuck to my guns and they have had no other option but to comply.  Their rooms have stayed clean and I have kept on them about having friends help clean up messes made prior to going home.  They are beginning to understand it's easier to encourage their friends help them clean the messes they help make rather than have to clean it up alone.  I have also held them to the rule that NOTHING happens after school until homework is done.  This they haven't argued one bit.  We walk in the door and the first thing we do is sit at the table and do homework.  This does become difficult though simply because all that extra curricular stuff we have going on.  Brenna goes to dance three days a week (Mon., Tues., and Thurs.).  School gets out at 3:45 and we don't leave until 4pm because I have to clean up the classroom and get ready for the next day.  Brenna's dance classes start as early as 4:30, but we have managed to stick to this homework rule even with the crazy dance schedule.  Tuesday nights she dances for two hours, but on Mon. and Thurs. she is only at dance for 1 hour.  It keeps her busy, but not too busy...

AND she loves it.  Sam is in Karate 2 days a week as well.  He goes Friday afternoons and Saturday mornings.  He also has the option of going Mon. evenings, but thus far I feel we just have way too much going on to commit to another night.  Though he hasn't been in karate long, thus far he seems to really enjoy it.  We are hoping that through this activity choice he will learn self control and respect more than what we have been able to teach him.  Our little Sam has quite the temper, one that gets away from him far too often.  I hope that he learns to better control that temper before it becomes a bigger problem for him and us.  I'm quite confident that he will gain this and much more from karate.  

On top of all our daily commitments we have had a whole lot of other stuff on as well.  My mom sold her house and had to move.  We spent all of last week helping her pack and then a crazy busy weekend getting her big house moved into a smaller, cozier house.  The weekend prior I also had the opportunity to photograph the 2012 Utah Buddy Walk.  I have still not yet found the time to edit and get these photographs posted, but in my defense we have a WHOLE LOT of new stuff going on in life AND there are nearly 500 pictures to go through and edit... 

I will however BE SURE to get this done this weekend and get a post done.  I can't wait to blog about this experience, it was truly amazing and life changing.  This is an event I intend to support in whatever way possible in years to come.  These children and their families are seriously inspirational and FUN!   

So, there is a very short run down of what I have been up to...

A whole lot going on and a whole lot to get used to.

Gotta keep reminding myself, 

CHANGE IS GOOD...

In Loving Memory of Our Friend John

What a somber couple of weeks it has been in our house...

As we learned of the most current downfall in the health of our friend John, our family was really forced to come to terms with the reality of the situation.

Well over a year ago John was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.  We were extremely saddened by this news as our boy Sam had really grown to love his "best buddy" John and we had been forced out of our home that neighbored theirs not long before this sad news came.  Our family had experienced a great loss by having to leave these neighbors we so dearly loved and now we knew that John's life would be cut far too short.  John was given only an expected short 6 months to live.  Very heartbreaking for his family and all those who had grown to love and adore this man.

My Sam I Am, along with our family, being among those.  

I'm not quite certain why, but John quickly took to our son Sam.  Soon after Sam was born, you could quickly notice a spark in John's eyes.  He seemed excited that my son was a part of his world.  Even as minimal as it was, John was still moved by the fact that there was this little boy now living right next door.  As the few years began rushing by Sam grew up and this immediate bond between Sam and John grew as well.  Sam spent many, many, many hours with John.  They would throw the balls too John's dogs nearly every evening when John got home from work.  They would pick John's vegetables from the garden. They would sit together and pick and eat the raspberries that lined John's back fence.  John and Lynn (his wonderful wife) would spoil my kids regularly with frozen goodies from their freezer.  Creamies were always better when they came from Lynn and John.  Sam and Brenna would invade their house  every time Lynn and John had their granddaughters over for swimming fun.  Sam and John would sit and talk about rocks that John had collected, so of course Sam had to start collecting them too. We had many summer evenings spent talking and laughing on their front porch, enjoying a casual drink together.  Our last holiday spent in our old house before moving was spent with John, Lynn, and their family.  They had become our family of sorts, our happy little "Mindy Circle" family. Great memories were being made daily with Lynn and John in the years that we lived next door to them, years that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. 

Sam naturally began to refer to John as his "Best Buddy" and John would refer to Sam as the same.

I had never really seen such a bond between a grown man and a small boy, but these two really had something special.

They were the best of friends.

Many times I would sit back in awe as my son walked hand in hand with his Best Buddy John.  My heart would swell with joy.

It's not very often in life that you find people that leave such a mark in your life, but here my son was just a toddler and had already built an amazing friendship... One that would never fade.

We were very saddened when we had to move away.  Sam asked to go see John daily, which in time became less frequent.  I, as the mother to this sweet boy, have a great deal of guilt in my heart because I could have done better.  I could have committed to regular routine visits with Lynn and John, but as so often happens... Life just got in the way. 
We would talk about getting together, planning a barbecue with our families, going out to the west desert and looking for rocks, or a day trip out to the geode beds... But it never happened. 

We would visit randomly and of course send holiday greetings.  We would touch base with the family through facebook, but looking back I really didn't do enough.  I could have done better, I should have done better.  My Sam deserved to maintain that bond that he formed with John, but I so selfishly made that difficult for them both.  To be truthful after having been given the news of John's illness I was scared for my boy.  Scared for the heartbreak I knew that he was going to endure when John passed away.  I am pretty sure I was subconsciously trying to protect my boy, my family, myself.  Having experienced what losing someone to cancer was like, I was not looking forward to experiencing that again nor did I want my Sweet Sam to have to endure that heartbreak at such a young age.  My protective nature as a mother didn't work.  That bond between John and Sam never did fade, it wasn't forgotten, nor was it ever replaced.  

During our last visit with John, I knew in my heart that would be the last.  I took in every moment of that visit.  The look in his eyes when we walked in the door, when he saw Sam, is one I will never forget.  He was beyond happy and grateful to see that little guy.  His eyes immediately filled with tears, which he would quickly pull back.  Those tears however filled his eyes often during that visit.  Sam brought John a rock during that visit.  It was a "special" rock that Sam knew John would just love.  He was right, it brought a smile to John's eyes.  I know that this smile wasn't because the rock was really something spectacular to look at, but because he knew that Sam thought of him and hadn't forgotten one bit about all the time they have spent together.  It didn't matter to Sam that John didn't look the same.  He wasn't phased one bit by how his illness had changed him.  Sam climbed right up by him and told him about his new house, school, his friends, and all his rocks he had collected at home.  They talked about the raspberries and about the dogs.  They were still "Best Buddies."
 Saying goodbye that day was very difficult.  Sam wanted to go back as soon as we left and quite frankly I did too.  I knew that would be the last time we would see John's smiling face.  That was really hard to take in.  We have had a lot of tears over the past couple months as John became extremely ill.  Part of me was still wanting to protect my boy, but part of me wanted to be that super annoying person and invade those last weeks so we could get all the time in we could in the short time he had left. 


Sam loves John, we all love John, and our heart is left broken...

On Thursday, September 6th, 2012, our dear friend John lost his battle with cancer.  He fought long and he fought hard.  With much determination, along with a whole lot of stubbornness, he proved those doctors wrong.  He far surpassed that 6 month life expectancy and was proud of that.  He was grateful for that.
John's friendship is one that will never be forgotten nor taken for granted.  We are grateful for the time we did have and we are grateful for the extra time he was given to enjoy his family, watch his granddaughters grow, and marry the love of his life Lynn.
Although this loss has been rough on Sam, he is wise beyond his years and is certain that John is watching over him and can see him everyday.  He found is peace in that.  Today Sam took Johns picture to school in his backpack where it was intended to stay, but instead he decided he wanted to share his picture with his class and tell of all the wonderful memories he has of John.  I am sure that talking about it helps Sam with the closure process and allows him to feel close to John even though he isn't here.  

The world lost an amazing man, we lost a friend, and Sam lost his "Best Buddy" but what we didn't lose are all the fond memories we made with him.  I'll make certain that my boy never forgets this great man and that their bond, even in death, never fades.  

RIP JOHN
Until we meet again...

Kindergarten Sam

My Boy...

My Baby...

My little Sam I am...

How did this day creep up so quickly? 

I'm seriously at a loss of how to explain my emotions today.  

I really am mostly excited and happy to start this chapter in our lives, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't even the slightest bit sad and overwhelmed by it all.

THIS ^^^^^

Is how I still see my baby boy when I look at him.  

The sweet, innocent, always smiling, happy, precious, fun, flirty, energetic, perfect baby boy.  

When I think about how this baby boy of mine has now embarked upon his school days, it really begins to tug at my heart strings. 

Granted, I am super excited for the added ME time and new beginnings that have come my way...

BUT part of me still wants to be that stay-at-home mom I have been for the last 7 years.

It's what I know and who I am.

As I mentioned before, HERE, I often find myself wishing I had a pause button or rewind button for our life.  What I would give to go back to moments like this with my little ones... 

(Note: Please ignore my totally obnoxious baby talk.  We are all guilty of this right? Totally lame of me I know.)

I miss those sweet baby grins, coos, and giggles.

I miss the sweet smell of their baby skin.

I miss their cute kissable little toes.

I miss them being entirely dependent upon me.

Selfish right?

Who cares, EVERY mother out there totally gets what I am saying. 

We want our children to need us forever, but slowly their need for us begins to fade.

My baby boy just spent an entire day at school, without me. 

THAT, I think, is what is most difficult for me to take in.

With every year and every milestone that passes us by, my babies need me a little less and less.  

AND

IT'S SO HARD TO LET THEM GO!

Today we walked up to the school and without hesitation Sam walked right up to his classroom door, put his backpack at the front of the line, and took off to the playground.  There was absolutely NO hesitation in his step.  He was ready for this day.  He really acted like an old pro...

Cause ya know, he had watched sissy all year last year so he knew the drill and didn't even need my help.

That's slightly heartbreaking.

Now, I was totally that obnoxious picture taking mom this morning.

Totally obsessive and slightly over-board.

 Snapping pictures of every little step Sam took.  Every possible emotion I could capture.  I needed to remember this day.  It was important to me and to him.  I got some awesome pictures too...

Then my stupid computer decided it would so graciously delete every picture that I took today.

Weird thing is, it was only the pictures I took today... the couple hundred that I had taken prior to today were still there.  It just decided that this moment in time, this milestone of our life, is one that I didn't need to have documented.  

I cried.

Like a wee little baby I cried.

No, worse than that... I uncontrollably cried that really pathetic and embarrassing cry where you can't catch your breath and boogers are pouring out your nose.

Yep, That's the one.

My baby's first day of 

KINDERGARTEN

and all the pictures were gone.

If you ask me, that just plain old SUCKS!

I called up my sweet, beautiful, talented friend Shelley

(check out her blog HERE... Really, she's amazing)

to see if she knew how to get them back and she so graciously offered to bring her camera to the school for me when I picked him up to ensure that I was able to get at least SOME pictures from his first day.  I took my camera along too, but considering the events of the day I wasn't too trusting of it.

I'm SO GLAD that she did too cause she captured this VERY awesome, TOTALLY priceless, MOMENT OF A LIFETIME...

Brought to you courtesy of  Shelley @ House of Smiths

Yep, that's right!  

I'm just SO busy and really important.

"I'm kind of a big deal right now!"

See what I mean about talent? 

And she was even able to capture my "good" side...

By that I mean my right, NOT my rear I swear!

Okay, okay... Back to my boy.

I was able to get some pictures when I went to pick him up from school.  I made my way into the classroom in those last ten minutes and snapped a few shots of him enjoying his class and friends,

both old and new.  We lucked out and got Mrs. Wilkin for a teacher this year.  She was Brenna's teacher last year and we all just LOVE her.  Sam also has a couple of people he already knows in class with him as well. His buddy Jake was in his preschool class and also takes karate with him.  Sweet little Lexi is the daughter of a long time family friend of Bill's and now myself.  

Photo Courtesy of Shelley @ House of Smiths

Sam came home FULL of excitement.  He let me know that they get 3 recesses in Kindergarten (which was his favorite part) and that he got to eat breakfast for lunch.  

"Mom, you know those things that are like waffles, but they're NOT waffles and you dip them in syrup?"

That's what he had for lunch.

HE LOVES KINDERGARTEN!

We did however learn that he had a bit of a melt down at lunch.  Not really melt down I guess, but rather a bit of confusion... accompanied by his stubbornness. 

Sam insisted that I was coming to eat lunch with him.  He wouldn't sit with his class because he was going to sit with me. It took the teachers a bit to convince him it was okay to sit with his class and that I could sit with him when I showed up.

Unfortunately, I never showed up.

I never intended to eat lunch with him today... I was working.

At one point in the weeks leading up to school starting I had told Sam that it was cool that I would be working at his school because that meant that I would be able to come and eat lunch with him sometimes.  I didn't mean today AND I didn't mean everyday.

He, however, thought that is exactly what I meant.

We have since worked that little bit of misinformed information out and he seems to be understanding of the fact that I won't be eating with him on a daily basis.

Let's hope that tomorrow goes a bit more smooth for his teachers.

Photo Courtesy of Shelley @  House of Smiths

I love this boy more than words can express.  I'm proud of the little man he is becoming.  I am excited to continue to watch him grow, advance, and succeed in life.  I am HONORED to be his Mommy. 

I love you son, To the moon and back.

Xoxo

Here's to Kindergarten and many more milestones to come.