Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Lifes downward spiral.... and onto the upward spiral...

I didn't realize how long it had been since I blogged. Lifes little lessons have deffinately had their way with us in the recent months. As I sat here last night contemplating why us, why were we here, what did we do to need these lessons? (I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason). What was the reason that Bill and I had gotten to a point in life that we lost everything? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, we hadn't lost everything.... we still had eachother. Bill and I have been through so many ups and way too many downs, that our love and relationship had become more strained than ever. We had both gotten to the point that we no longer appreciated the other and love was lost somewhere along the way. So I asked myself again, what lesson is it we are suppose to be learning through such great losses? The answer is to find what is important again... I guess you could say we needed humbling. We had both become so lost in materialistic things, we lost sight of what is truly important. Although it would be easy to be angry for the extent of our losses, I'm not. I'm grateful for them. Through these losses I have gained so much more, I have been reminded of things about myself that I once valued. I have been reminded of things about Bill that I once appreciated and forgot to recognize. I was reminded of what great friends and family we are surrounded with, and just how fortunate we are. These hardships have been some of the biggest blessings of my life. I am confident now that you will never be lead to a place in life that you don't belong. I thought I had a home, I thought I was where I belonged. I could have never been more wrong, I'm not sure what it is about where we are at this moment, but something about life right now just feels right. We are home.