Happy 7th Birthday to my Lou

WHAT?!?!?!

That can't be right...

7???

Yup, it's true...

My first born, my princess, my mini-me, my little raven, my baby girl, my Brenna Lou is 7 years old today.

Now I could make that so often used statement of "this makes me REALLY old," BUT when I said this to Brenna last night while tucking her into bed her response was...

"No you're not mom.  You are young, and you are BEAUTIFUL... But Dad, he's really old!"

So rather than making this post about just how OLD my baby girl turning seven makes me feel I am going to make it about just how WISE my 7 year old is.

Above statement proves that she is wise beyond her seven years... 

Her Dad is REALLY old.
I'm still rockin' my 20's

(for another seven months that is...)

Okay, okay... now lets get serious here.

Brenna seriously blows me away daily.  I really catch myself thinking "How did I get so lucky to be blessed with such amazing kids?" on a regular basis.  I have never met a seven year old with the maturity level of Brenna's.  She is such an old soul in a young little body.  We were told a time or twenty by Bill's Grandpa Tomlin that he believed a little piece of Maurine (Bill's Grandma Tomlin) was sent back to this earth in Brenna.  The more time goes by and the more of Brenna's little personality comes shining through I too have begun to believe that Bill's Grandpa could have been right.  Brenna has a very subtle way about her.  She is very observant and cautious.  She is very good at reading people and knows very quickly who she does and does not want to invest her time and energy into building relationships with.  Now I didn't get to spend much time with Bill's Grandma Tomlin, but there are things I see in Brenna that remind me so much of the woman I was able to get to know.  Brenna has this way of carrying herself.  She is very modest, poised, proper.... Elegant.  Watching Brenna walk and dance really can be mesmerizing.  She carries herself so well it almost seems as though she is floating.  

(I probably sound crazy... forgive me)

I saw Bill's Grandma Tomlin much in this same light.  Had I not known better I would have sworn that Bill's Grandma Tomlin would have been some kind of royalty because she really did have that same elegance that Brenna exudes.  

This elegance doesn't just apply to Brenna's outward appearance, but is also present in her inward person.  

She has been faced with a bit more tests this past year in her social life (having started school and all).  Situations that in many cases would result in a child her age having melt downs, a lack of self worth, really struggling to find their place.  Brenna, however, is not affected in the same way you would assume a child her age would be.  In fact she allows very little to change who she is, how she feels about herself, or how she feels about others.  Brenna holds strong to forming her own opinions about most everything in life based upon her own experiences and/or findings.  Just because Bob doesn't like Fred, and Fred is her best friend, doesn't mean Brenna won't be Bob's friend as it would in many cases with children of this age.  Brenna is very much the opposite.  She has stumbled upon a few situations in fact where this same type of mind set has been present.  I must say that I am VERY proud with the way my little girl dealt with these situations.  Like I said... she is a wise little one and I am certain it was gifted from someone above. 

In the last year Brenna has transformed so much.  She went from being seen still as my baby to this young lady.  Though she will forever remain my baby girl, most all of her baby like features have vanished and she is so NOT little.  One day (sooner than later I'm sure) she will tower over me.  She is smart!  She is currently well above average in all areas academically and continues to just breeze by with what seems to require very little effort on her part.  She just gets it... ALL OF IT!  One of my FAVORITE parts of the changes and growth that Brenna has made this past year is that she is more interested in talking to me about serious stuff.  She confides in me about boys, friends, things that make her happy and sad, school... all those things that mom's love to talk to their kids about.  One of my most recent favorite topic choices between she and I has to be one we had about how it's okay be different and unique.  Along with how important it is to be accepting of differences in others as well.  This conversation was sparked by the recent charity event the kids and I attended for children with Down Syndrome.  I should have known better than to assume that my kids would be a bit thrown off or caught off guard by the children they would encounter at this event.  My kids really are some of the most accepting children I know.  The questions they had really had nothing to do with why these kids were different or why they had physical differences.  The most my kids wanted to know about these kids was why we were helping them because they saw them as equals to them.  They looked past these differences and saw kids, just like them.  Kids that liked the same things they did and kids that really were fun to be around.  This event struck a soft spot with me to begin with.  I loved every moment spent at this event, but what really tugged on my heart strings was what I witnessed with my own kids.  Many kids would be frightened by such differences in people, but mine weren't even phased by different.  I am so proud knowing that different doesn't phase them. 

I see a very bright and successful year to come for my little girl.  I know that she will continue to surprise me and make me proud.  I know that seven really isn't that old, but I feel that this little girl and I have really begun to develop a mother/daughter relationship that far exceeds anything I ever imagined.  She really is a brilliant child, with a heart larger than life.  I look forward to continuing to watch her transform into what I am sure will be nothing short of pure perfection.  

I would have never believed that ones heart could hold the capacity of love that mine holds for my children.  In the 7 years that I have been a mom, I have gained a great knowledge and appreciation for the term "A mother's love runs deep."  Every ounce of me lives for these children of mine. 

Happy Birthday, my Little Lou.

Mommy loves you more than most...

Freckles and Glasses

Yesterday I had to take the little neighbor boy to school. As I leaned over him and buckled his seat belt he was stairing at me with a look of concern and disgust. I went to shut his door and heard him mumble something very quietly to Sam and he staired at me as I walked all the way around to my side of the car. When I climbed in myself I looked back at him and said, "What's the matter Kache..." He responded, "Nothing," but still had that same disgusted look on his face... I looked in my car mirror and didn't notice anything so I said, "Well there is something wrong, what did you say?" After some hesitation he asks, "Well, what are all those spots on your face?" I giggled, "They're freckles Kache." He quickly responded, "Well, I don't like them on you."

My freckles are there, always have been and I am certain they always will be, but they do darken in the warmer months when I spend time in the sun. I am guessing that our St. George trip must have darkened them up for the season. I don't notice them anymore, they are a part of me... No they are me. I am a girl with freckles. Though I hated them when I was young, I have learned to love them. I think this love came when my own little girl began to develop the same scattering of freckles on her perfect little nose and cheeks. I am okay that Kache doesn't like my freckles... he doesn't have to. What matters is that I love my freckles and I teach my little girl to love hers too. We all have our own perception of what beauty is... For me, and what I hope to pass onto my children, beauty is not defined by what clothes a person wears, their hair color, how much money someone has, or anything materialistic or on the outside... Beauty IS what is on the inside, but more importantly can be seen when a person is confident in who they are, how they look, and carry themselves with class. Be who you are and be proud of who you are... That is beautiful.

On another note...

In February the family went in for our annual eye exams. Sam's prescription only changed minimally, but his prisms (for his superior oblique palsy) remained the same. Bottom line is, his prescription didn't really change. We had his lenses changed out for some new once because his others had a few minor scratches on them. Ever since we did this he refuses to wear them. He says he is blind with them on. I don't understand it. Now today he was trying to watch T.V. and started crying because he was blind without his glasses too. I obviously can't do anything immediate about this and he was so mad at me for not fixing it. His whole eye thing has made me feel completely helpless at times. He is so young and doesn't really know what "normal" vision is... he has had this battle since he was born. Because he doesn't know normal and doesn't quite know how to communicate what is going on yet makes this very hard for him and us as parents. It is possible that for some reason his lenses were made incorrectly, but it is also very possible that his eyes have decided to worsen again. I know that this battle is minimal in comparrison to what many others are faced with, but it is one that I struggle with. I look at my son and as his mother I visibly notice his palsy and it makes me sad for him. People are so quick to criticise and I don't ever want him to have to deal with the wrath of mean kids. I want to protect him. We are headed back to the eye doctors this evening to see if we can fix the problem and get him back to HIS normal. I have bad eyes myself and know how very difficut daily tasks are without being able to see properly. I couldn't even begin to imagine not being able to communicate my own struggles and having to suffer through the days with blurry eyes...