Freckles and Glasses

Yesterday I had to take the little neighbor boy to school. As I leaned over him and buckled his seat belt he was stairing at me with a look of concern and disgust. I went to shut his door and heard him mumble something very quietly to Sam and he staired at me as I walked all the way around to my side of the car. When I climbed in myself I looked back at him and said, "What's the matter Kache..." He responded, "Nothing," but still had that same disgusted look on his face... I looked in my car mirror and didn't notice anything so I said, "Well there is something wrong, what did you say?" After some hesitation he asks, "Well, what are all those spots on your face?" I giggled, "They're freckles Kache." He quickly responded, "Well, I don't like them on you."

My freckles are there, always have been and I am certain they always will be, but they do darken in the warmer months when I spend time in the sun. I am guessing that our St. George trip must have darkened them up for the season. I don't notice them anymore, they are a part of me... No they are me. I am a girl with freckles. Though I hated them when I was young, I have learned to love them. I think this love came when my own little girl began to develop the same scattering of freckles on her perfect little nose and cheeks. I am okay that Kache doesn't like my freckles... he doesn't have to. What matters is that I love my freckles and I teach my little girl to love hers too. We all have our own perception of what beauty is... For me, and what I hope to pass onto my children, beauty is not defined by what clothes a person wears, their hair color, how much money someone has, or anything materialistic or on the outside... Beauty IS what is on the inside, but more importantly can be seen when a person is confident in who they are, how they look, and carry themselves with class. Be who you are and be proud of who you are... That is beautiful.

On another note...

In February the family went in for our annual eye exams. Sam's prescription only changed minimally, but his prisms (for his superior oblique palsy) remained the same. Bottom line is, his prescription didn't really change. We had his lenses changed out for some new once because his others had a few minor scratches on them. Ever since we did this he refuses to wear them. He says he is blind with them on. I don't understand it. Now today he was trying to watch T.V. and started crying because he was blind without his glasses too. I obviously can't do anything immediate about this and he was so mad at me for not fixing it. His whole eye thing has made me feel completely helpless at times. He is so young and doesn't really know what "normal" vision is... he has had this battle since he was born. Because he doesn't know normal and doesn't quite know how to communicate what is going on yet makes this very hard for him and us as parents. It is possible that for some reason his lenses were made incorrectly, but it is also very possible that his eyes have decided to worsen again. I know that this battle is minimal in comparrison to what many others are faced with, but it is one that I struggle with. I look at my son and as his mother I visibly notice his palsy and it makes me sad for him. People are so quick to criticise and I don't ever want him to have to deal with the wrath of mean kids. I want to protect him. We are headed back to the eye doctors this evening to see if we can fix the problem and get him back to HIS normal. I have bad eyes myself and know how very difficut daily tasks are without being able to see properly. I couldn't even begin to imagine not being able to communicate my own struggles and having to suffer through the days with blurry eyes...