Do you ever ask yourself, Why did I get out of bed today? Is this all there is to life? And where the heck I left my car keys?
Well, today has been one of those days for me... although nothing has really gone terrably wrong persay... I didn't put my bra on backwards to find it fit better that way... for that I am thankful. I am just down in the dumps, pooped, and being tested at every moment possable! I have decided I don't want to do a damn thing today... and being that I am in the mood I am in, I was searching for something to cheer me up, and came across this... made me laugh... just a little...
Don't despair; it's not too late to turn your life around! Well, unless you are really old (like 30); in that case I suggest alcohol. If you are still a useful member of society (under 30), I gathered some life tips that without a doubt will change your life in such a deep and profound way, you won't even notice!
So with all that said and done, now it's time to sitt down, lean back, open your mind, scratch your tummy, cluck like a chicken and read this pearls of wisdom:
1. Every morning smile to your mirror, but why stop there? Smile to your kitchen table, to your living room sofa and to your iron board. Beware, don't smile to your dishwasher it may take it as provocation.
2. Always put your smile on. People will assume you are a crazy person and won't mess with you.
3. Be kind to others, send me money.
4. Live every day like it is your last.Crawl into a corner and cry.
5. Live every day to the fullest. When going to the bathroom take a newspaper!
6. Drinking is not a solution, unless we are talking about alcohol.
7. Better to give, than to receive (true only on case of infections).
8. Clothes don't make the man, but being naked will get you arrested.
9. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, put all of then in the fridge they will last longer.
10. Remember everybody makes mistakes, and you will have the opportunity to laugh on them.
11. Always follow your dreams; just be sure to check that Pamela Anderson is also on board.
12. Give a man a fish and he might take it the wrong way...
13. Honesty is the best policy, at least that what Pamela always telling me.
14. Time is money. Stop reading stupid articles!
1 comment:
hilarious! sorry you had a bad day lady, at least you're not 30, like me!
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