Meet Big Fella...

My son, he's precious. I have found that he is the kind of person who sees things in a glass half full kind of way. He really does make the best of situations. He is the kid who you will find out in the yard with all the neighbor kids trying to make compromises to ensure that everyone is happily involved and playing. He has a big heart and positive outlook on life. I love this about him.

Now, I enlighten you all about this personality trait he has for a reason...
I would like you all to meet Sam's newest pet,

BIG Fella! (Now BIG is said in a deep voice, with gut force behind it... it's not just big, it's BIG!)



I find it fascinating that my boy can find the most smallest of bugs and feel it appropriate to name it BIG Fella. Like I said he sees the best of everything. For the record, BIG Fella survived in Sam's hands for about an hour... Then Sam was forced to find another ant friend, it's name was BIG Fella too. Everyday he goes out and finds himself another BIG Fella to let crawl up and down his perfect little fingers... I'm okay with that, so long as BIG Fella stays outside.

March Photo Day 29: Feet

I stumbled upon these adorable little feet today and thought to myself, MY HOW MY BOY HAS GROWN!



Seriously how did this boy of mine grow up so fast? Seems like just yesterday I was kissing his brand new perfect little baby feet... And now he is just 1 month away from being five years old. Regardless of how big he gets, he will forever be my baby.

It's a (play) DATE!

Last Saturday, the 24th, Brenna went to a Birthday party. WELL, it just so happens that Sam's little girlfriends twin sisters got invited to this birthday party. AND it just so happens that this birthday party was for one of the little girls who live on our street. What a better time to have Sam's little girly-friend over for a "play" date. I am not certain that either Sam or Aubrielle really understood that it was a play date, NOT a real date. For a week prior, Sam was counting down the days... "6 more days MOM!" FULL of excitement. Saturday morning Sam woke up and the first thing he said was, "Mom, Aubrie is coming over TODAY! I think she would like some brownies. Will you make her some brownies for our picnic?" The plan was to put together a little picnic in the yard for him and Aubrie, they were both super excited about it. Of course I caved to his request and made some brownies. We made PB&J's, but they couldn't just be plain old PB&J's... Sam wanted them to be flowers for Aubrie. So I used a cookie cutter to make flower PB&J's. They both had so much fun together, picnicking, jumping on the trampoline, and Sam even gave Aubrie a ride on his wiggle car. Sam hasn't stopped talking about his "date" since and can't wait for their second. There are no concrete plans for that second PLAY date, but I am certain it will come in the near future.

March Photo Days 22-28: Oops... I did it again

Well, I need to play catch up here on my photos a day. It isn't that I didn't take the pictures each day, but rather some of these topics were just really pretty lame. Kitchen sink? Key? The pictures are here, but I didn't think anyone would really care to see my sink or my keys... Then the day that had the topic Moon the sky was clouded over and no moon could be seen. The clouds did provide a pretty cool sunset, so I took a picture of that instead. Not all of these aren't worth seeing, but I just kind of lost motivation with Kitchen sink. LOL. I'm back on track though... I swear!




I know it's not the moon, but it's really the closest thing I was going to get. Unless of course someone was willing to bare their butt... Ummmm, No thanks!


Okay, this one is worth something... Our Roxy dog is just so darn cute.


Breakfast of Champions!


Nothing too interesting about my keys or where they get tossed when I get home. Though my pink counter tops are AWESOME, Regardless of what my sister things about her Barbie kitchen (Here)


Hi, My name is...

Last but not least....
March Photo Day 28: Trash.
Really? I am NOT about to take a picture of my trash. Maybe I could get creative, like show you my junk drawers that are in dire need of organizing, or my cluttered mess of scrapbooking stuff, or the trunk of my car, or the over abundance of clothes stuffed in bags waiting to go to the DI. HA! You think I would ever provide documentation of how imperfect I am? I DON'T THINK SO! I have a reputation to uphold you know. ;)

So there you have it... Your catch up of the last 6 days.

Love Letters....

Now, of course I KNOW that my little girl is stunning. Beautiful. Fun. And really just Perfect. She ALWAYS has boys chasing her. At school when we show up there is a group for about 5-7 boys that wait and watch for her. When they see her, they then yell "There she is! Run and hide!" At first I didn't know why they would do this and I worried that maybe they would tease her or something. One day I decided to stand close to them in their hiding spot (under the bridge of the playground) and I hear this:

"I dare you to go tell her you like her!"
"I dare you to go hug her!"
I dare you to go kiss her!"
"Oh yeah, well I dare you to go chase after her!"

All the boys are daring one another these things back and forth, giggling the whole time. They they start in on teasing one another.

"I'm running to tell Brenna that you have a crush on her!"

Then they all dart out from under the bridge chasing whatever boy is threatening to tell Brenna that the others have a crush on her. I can deal with that, so long as no little boys plant their little lips on my little girl!

This repeats until the Bell rings. And Brenna is completely oblivious to any of it. She doesn't give the boys the slightest bit of attention or indication that she is remotely interested in them or boys in general. I'm okay with that too. Day in and Day out, the boys do this. It's really cute.

Well I'm sure if Brenna really doesn't notice that all these boys like her, think she's pretty, and want to hug her OR if she just doesn't care and avoids involvement. Either way, today I happened upon this little love letter written to her by some boys that live up the street from us. It literally extends the entire sidewalk length in front of our house. Pretty sure this one she can't pretend she doesn't notice or avoid.



I tried to write what it says, cause you know little kids they can't spell and have the WORST penmenship. In case you can't tell, it says:

"I love you Brenna (heart) Sexy... Toney and John"

I told Bill to have his shotgun ready cause I am pretty sure we will be needing to scare all these boys she has chasing after her sooner than we thought.

March Photo Day 21: Delicious

Ice cream is fantastic, but is OOoooober DELICIOUS when it has peanut butter in it. MmmMmmmmMmmmm

Yes, that may or may not be sitting on my night table next to my bed....

And this picture may or may not have been taken at 11:30pm last night...

DON'T JUDGE ME! Ha!

First Day of Spring 2012: Play Ball!

All the little neighborhood kids got together and orchestrated a baseball game! Such a great way to celebrate the first day of spring! It wasn't the warmest of days by any means, but the sun was shining and the afternoon was more pleasant than the morning was. We woke up to a dusting of snow, but ended the day with partly cloudy, but blue sky with the sun shining!



I love that I live in a neighborhood that is full of kids around the same ages as my own. The kids on our street range from High School to 3 years old, but on days like today age doesn't get in the way. They all get together and play. It's great to see my kids enjoying childhood like I remember it. It's not often that one finds a neighborhood that they feel comfortable enough in to allow their kids to bounce from house to house to play. I recall doing this when I was young. Getting together with neighborhood kids to play hide and seek together between all of our yards, or games like kick the can and red rover. I love those memories. I did not think that my kids would be able to have that same kind of childhood due to the growing rates in crime in society. There really isn't many places that are "safe" enough that parents feel comfortable doing this. I know on my street that we all look out for one another and each other's kids. I love being in a neighborhood that is so close nit. I feel that Magna has a different quality of community than most places in Utah. It's small enough that you run into people you know nearly everywhere you go and I like that. I hope we can stay here for a long time to come. I love my house, my neighbors, and that my children have the opportunity to be raised in a community that cares.

March photo Day 20: Before/After

I have seriously been anxious about being able to do this photo-a-day post. I haven't had the chance to show off my living room since we refinished our hardwood floors. THAT job was EXHAUSTING! Anyway, here is a good comparison of how far we have come with this room...



Granted we still have some things to do like touch up paint, hang pictures. I have a saying that I want to put on the wall below the picture/above the couch. Then I would like to get some side tables next to the chairs and a few more plants for the room. I have an idea to create a shelf that looks like an old rustic ladder also. Granted this will all take some time to complete. I am IN LOVE with this room and I am very proud of it. I worked have put many labor hours into this room and many of them weren't easy ones. That floor took us so long to finish and tons and tons and tons of hours. I am so glad it is done and I can enjoy MY space again.

March Photo Day 19: Funny

My friend got this email sent to her and shared it on facebook. I thought it was the perfect "Funny" for today.

Can you find the problem?



This was an advertisement encouraging people to go back to school, and of course to go to "Their" school. She never stated what school it was that posted this, but seriously? Way to recruit!

March Photo Day 18: Corner of the House

March photo day 18:
Corner of the house

Sam staked out under the lamp table ready to save us all from the monsters that are apparently invading our house. Those monsters should be afraid... This kid is bad ass ya know!



Poor kid is bored out of his mind today, but at least he can entertain himself. I just have to respond to him every minute when his watch changes... "Mom, it is now 3:02... Monsters are coming!" "Okay son. Be ready!" This then repeats again one minute later.

Tomlin's go to a magic show....

My neighbor is in show choir at Cyprus High School. Last month they held a fundraiser to earn money towards their upcoming tour. This fundraiser included tickets to so see a magic show put on by one of Cyprus Highs alumni. Tickets were purchased in advance and I nearly forgot about the show.


Kids by the Cyprus "C".

The kids and I (I guess magic isn't Bill's thing) went to the show on Friday night. It started at 7:30pm so I assumed we would be home by nine at the latest. How long could a magic show be right?


Kids waiting with their friend Kache for the show to start.


Meet the Magician.



Well, I was wrong about the nine O'clock thing. We didn't get out of the show until a little after 10. LONG show! We definitely got our money's worth that's for sure. The show was good. The magician was funny and entertaining. My favorite part of the show was the end, not because it was the end of a VERY long show, but because of the message he sent to my little girl. The entire show he had an empty black chair just sitting on stage in the far left corner. Positioned with the intention that someone could sit and enjoy the show from on stage. Best view in the house. Well when it came to his last trick, he gave a little background behind why he began doing this trick. It went something like this: "I love to do volunteer work. I have had the opportunity to entertain children around the country by volunteering at children's hospitals. A couple years back I was putting on regular nightly performances at a children's hospital back east. This was a special place for children who had cancer, but at every show for days in a row there was a little girl on the very front row with big blue eyes and a smile that would melt your heart. This little girl did not look like the other cancer kids. She didn't have evidence of being medicated or undergoing any cancer treatment. She was free of needles and tubes. She had all her hair. This little girl thoroughly enjoyed being there night after night. After a few nights of seeing her I asked some of the nurses about this little girl. They informed me that she was in fact a patient there, and she had terminal brain cancer. I learned that her name was Emily. Emily was there to live what was left of her life, comfortably. The next performance, the last performance of my trip there, I approached the parents of Emily and expressed how much she had moved me throughout my stay there. I told them how much I enjoyed seeing her smiling face at each and every one of my performances there on the front row and loved to see she was just as amazed the last night as she was the first. I could tell she thoroughly enjoyed magic, she was the perfect example of why I do what I do. Volunteering is worth it. Well, I came back home and remained in contact with Emily's family. We became good friends. This particular hospital is one that I frequently began to volunteer at. I enjoyed my visits there because now I got to not only volunteer, but I got to enjoy time spent with my new friends and Emily. I asked Emily during one of my visits what was one magic trick she would like to see before her time came to leave us. She told me that she wanted me to make it snow. Emily had never seen snow in real life, only in the movies. Emily's mother told me that she was so mesmerized by snow that she would rip paper up into tiny pieces, throw them up in the air, and dance in them. She would do this all the time. I promised Emily that I would make it snow, just for her. I worked on this trick for awhile. I wanted to perfect it for Emily. She deserved it. One day I got a phone call from Emily's parents. They began to thank me for my volunteer work at the hospital. They thanked me for putting smiles on the faces of all the kids. They thanked me for putting a smile on Emily's face. I knew what was coming next. I asked them how Emily was, they informed me that Emily had passed away that morning. I was sad. I never got to make it snow for Emily. My heart hurt. This chair has been here on stage at every one of my performances since Emily passed. It is a special seat, reserved just for Emily. In her honor I end my show by making it snow for Emily." He then went up on a platform and made it snow... first the snow came from the palms of his hands.... Then it began to fall from above and blow in from the sides of the stage... he stood there twirling in it, almost as if he were dancing in it with little Emily. It brought tears to my eyes. It was beautiful. Lights went up and he thanked everyone for attending, then the curtains closed. Brenna turned to me and said, "Mom, he kept his promise to Emily. He makes it snow for her. Even though she died, he still kept his promise. I'm going to make sure to keep promises I make too." Thank you Magician for showing my daughter the importance of keeping promises. I am sure Emily is smiling down at every show you do.

March Photo Day 17: Green

Brenna and I got to spend a few hours together, just the two of us this morning while Bill and Sam went to the sportsman's expo with his dad. B and I got all dressed up in green. :) I don't normally do this, but it was fun for Brenna.

How do you explain Gay to a 5 and 6 year old??? I gave it my very best effort I swear!

Today my son (almost 5) called me gay.

We sat down for dinner and out of the blue he said, "Mom, you're gay." My husband and I stared at him in disbelief that those words just came form the mouth of my sweet, adorable, innocent child. Granted, I know these words were a result of his innocence. He has no idea what it means, nor did I ever feel it time to explain what gay means to either of my children. I feel that they are far too young to comprehend, but I cannot allow for my children to continue on in life thinking it is okay to walk around and innocently call people gay. I want my children to learn what respect is and to encourage them to respect all mankind regardless of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc. I felt it time to have this conversation with the children.

"Sam, do you even know what gay is?"
"No."
"Then do you think it is right to walk around calling people gay?"
"I don't know."
"Where did you hear that word from?"
"I don't know."
"Brenna, do you know what gay means?"
"Um, No."
"Well, gay is another meaning for happy, but when you call a person gay with the intent to hurt their feelings it does not hold this meaning. It is completely disrespectful because gay also means that you are attracted to someone of the same sex. Not only are you disrespecting the person you are calling gay, but you are also disrespecting people who have not done anything to deserve such disrespect. If Mommy were gay, then I would have fallen in love with and married another girl. If Daddy were gay, then he would have married another boy. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, you married Daddy so you are gay."

At this point Bill takes the lead in the conversation.
"No Sam, You like Aubrielle right?"
"Yeah."
"Well if you were gay, you would not like Abrielle. You wouldn't want her to be your girlfriend. You wouldn't want to try to kiss her. If you were gay, you would want to try to kiss Jacob (his friend at school)."

The look on his face completely changes....

"Oh..... EWwwwww" he replies.

To which I pipe in again.
"Sam, it's not ew. It's just who they are. You can't help who you like or love, some people just like different things. Daddy likes shrimp and I don't, that doesn't make daddy gross for liking something I don't like. That doesn't make me like or love Daddy any less. It just means he is different than me. If I judged dad for being different from me, then we wouldn't have fell in love and we wouldn't have had you two. Everyone is different. There is not one person on this earth that is EXACTLY the same as another. Different is okay and you should NEVER dislike someone because they are different from you. You remember that ok?"
"Okay mom."

"Now, if I EVER hear you call someone gay again... You will be grounded for a week and will wash every toilet in this house every single day for a month... You got it?"

"Yes mom."

I seriously struggled with finding the right words to address this with my children. Though Brenna sat back and listened for the majority of it, she was attentive. She was listening. I didn't quite know how to explain this to them and have them get it, but I knew I had to try. Not sure I did the topic justice, but seriously how do you have this conversation with a 5 and 6 year old? I am totally open to advice.... so please let me hear it.

March Photo Day 15: Car

A car... Well, MY car is a mess from Winter cold, which is why you don't see it here.

Cold and winter means that my car doesn't get a bath, nor do I take the time to clean the thing out.

My car's current condition IS NOT making an appearance here on my blog, or anywhere else for that matter.

To be honest, I would probably judge me for the current condition of my car... It states, I'm a slob.

Really though, my kids are the slobs...

Today my kids went outside with a measly little piece of purple sidewalk chalk... one that survived from last year. The sole survivor as a matter of fact. Needless to say this chalk provided about 5 minutes of entertainment before all that was left was tiny, unusable shards of chalk. They BEGGED me to go to the store right then and buy more chalk... when the answer was no, Sam had a melt down. I didn't realize just how much my kids have grown to appreciate the "artsy" side of themselves throughout the school year thus far. After dropping Sam off at school, I made a quick stop at the dollar store for some more chalk. Brenna and I came home and she quickly went and put her new chalk to use. Of course I quickly followed after her... I'll be honest, I LOVE to sit with my kids and color on the sidewalk. Usually this doesn't last long so I take advantage when I can... Brenna and I sat and colored for a good hour before it was time to pick Sam up. My kids are obsessed with the "Slug Bug" game these days, so what a better choice than a Bug to fill my day 15 photo spot. Seriously though, we weren't home 2 minutes from picking Sam up that the kids started on the "SLUG BUG ORANGE" and argued over who won the claim of my sidewalk slug bug. Silly kids. My kids sat outside all evening and drew with their chalk... this method of entertainment has NEVER held their attention like this before. They played hop scotch and drew to their little hearts content. If chalk continues to entertain them like this all season, I don't care if I have colored messy walks all spring/summer... I'm totally okay with having to brush the dust from my shoes before entering the house if it means they are content.

March Photo Day 14: Clouds

Consumed by a blanket of clouds today it was difficult to get a picture that clouds were easily identified. Our sky was an overcast of gray... most of the day. This was the best I could get.

March Photo DayS 12 and 13:

Yesterday I really struggled with the topic... FORK! Granted this should be easy right? Take a picture of a fork. That's too boring. Though this really isn't any more exciting, it took me until today to find that fork in the road and take a picture of it. HA! Really though, I didn't drive around looking for a fork in the road... initially I had every intension of skipping day twelve until I headed out to Sandy tonight for my nieces birthday dinner and happened upon that fork I had in mind. :)

March Photo Day 12: Fork



March Photo Day 13: A sign....
This is probably the most depressing sign to me right now. Someone seriously needs to get a handle on this gas thing. It's beyond rediculous. When I started driving *cough* 12 *cough* years ago it cost me $20 bucks to fill up my Taurus... Now I drive the EXACT same car only the Mercury version and it cost me $50 the last time I filled up. Seriously? How is this ok?

March Photo Day 11: Someone I spoke with...

Today I spoke with a lot of people. Strangers, family, friends. Though my friends and family all hold a very special place in my heart, none of them make me feel quite like this man does.



I don't say or post much about him here in my blog,
or on facebook,
or anywhere that is "public.

He is a private person who does not like the spotlight. In fact when I snapped this picture our conversation went like this:
What are you taking pictures of?"
"You."
"Um, why?"
"Because I love you..."
Quickly followed by a not so pleased look from him.

Unfortunately even those who avoid the spotlight like the plague are put there a time or two in their lifetime.

Today, I couldn't think of a better person to fill my photo of the day because he is my other half.

This weekend was hard. Emotional. Trying. Tiring. Sad. EXHAUSTING! This afternoon I sat on my front porch and enjoyed a little sun, pondering the happenings of the weekend. My husband came out and started small talk which led to heart to heart talk... I know he knew I had a hard weekend and needed him. Reassurance that all will be fine is what I needed. Having dealt with the cause of my weekend stress the majority of his life, he had all the right things to say. Its nice to have someone that just gets you. I love this man!

My family had an unimaginably hard weekend. Even as I sit here, I tear up just thinking about the life changing experience. So many emotions present... sadness, confusion, vulnerability, and even gratitude. Even though I have faith and confidence that all will be okay, it's still hard to reflect upon an even that has left you worried of unknown. In these moments one feels uncomfortably vulnerable. Friday's phone call from my sister left me feeling helpless and hopeless. It went like this:

"I'm supposed to let you know mom rushed Bronson to the hospital."
And the fuzziness begins... consumed with worry... Something about off the charts sugar levels and coma is about all I recall following those introductory words.
Me: "Um, okay...."
Sister: "That's all I know."

Needless to say, consumed by worry... for what seemed like decades until word came in that my baby brother was being diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic. For a family that has never dealt with diabetes... This is terrifying news. I have been fortunate to be around a diabetic for the last 12 years, my father in law is this same type of diabetic so I knew a little going into this experience. The rest of the family was going into this completely blind. What I did know was he can live a long, productive life and for this knowledge I am grateful. I also knew that there is far worse that our family could be presented with and for this I am also grateful.

There was so much I still did not know about this disease until this weekend, much of which was the dangers and long term effects. I did not know that the family needs to know how to give a sugar injection if ever an emergency presents itself. Does this mean me??? Well if I would ever like to take my brother to a movie again or lunch or shopping or anywhere then yes... this does mean me. Nervous is only normal right? Why didn't I know this before?

My worries and lack of confidence in my abilities to perform in the face of emergency is minimal in comparison to the forceful blow that my poor brother has had to endure. HIS life is most effected. He is a diabetic.

It the matter of moments a kids dreams are shattered... I am so so so sad for him. I recall a time, 11-12 years ago, that my husband (then boyfriend) came to pick me up from home while still in military uniform. My four year old little brother was just in aw that a "real life soldier" was at our house. He was mesmerized by Bill and what being a soldier meant. I recall when we bought him his own dress up uniform and Bill camouflaging his face for him, the smile that consumed that little boys face was priceless. For as long as I can recall this little brother of mine has wanted to be a soldier. A dream that will now never become his reality. I am sad for him. His life has changed.

I know one day that he will understand that god has a different plan for him in this life. A greater plan I am sure. Whatever this plan may be, I know that he will succeed in fulfilling it.

I hope he knows how much I wish I could take his place.
I hope he knows how much I love him.
I hope he knows how proud I am of him.

Melting snow... growing smiles...

This winter has seemed to be DRAGGING on. Granted we didn't get the snowfall like we did last year, but the bitter cold has definitely been here. For what seems to be a VERY long time. We didn't get a spring last year, and we were left with a very minimal summer. Fall, well, fall was actually decent. This year I WANT spring, I NEED spring. I have spring fever like I have never had before...

The sun came out and began to melt the blanket of snow covering the ground from the last couple storms. The kids and I went out and "tried" to enjoy it. Much to our dismay, the sun really didn't warm things up a whole lot. That didn't stop us. We played at the park for a good 45 minutes... long enough for me to bust out the camera (which I NEEDED too... I have missed my camera) and take some cute pics of my babies. We needed this time outside after months of being cooped up indoors... With melting snow comes growing smiles. I love these kids and never get sick of photographing them. I'm blessed.

March Photo Day 10: LOUD

Far too many people say they care...
But not enough of them actually get involved.
It is important to educate yourself and vote.
This is our country, we deserve the best...
Get educated, get involved, and GET LOUD!

I am still completely on the fence. Reading, watching, and trying to decide which candidate suits my personal beliefs best... Time will tell.

March Photo Day 9: Red

The time is coming soon...
When I can once again sport the flip flops.
When I can walk outside barefoot.... Oh how I love to be barefoot!
My red toes have been hidded for far too long,
Bring on the HEAT!

March photo day 8: Window

Mr. Sun came out to say hello today.
I love opening my blinds and letting the sun just swallow up the room... I also love the character of my old house, and these old windows... definitely brought to life in the light of the sun.

March Photo Day 7: Something I Wore Today

Boots and necklaces... two of them to be exact.

Even though my daughter so kindly advised me that wearing two necklaces is not cool.
"Who wears two necklaces anymore? THAT is so OLD style!!!"

Not sure how I feel about being OLD.

March Photo Day 6: 5PM

Sitting watching Netflix with the kids waiting for dinner to be ready and dad to get home from work. Had I looked out the window at 5PM I would have had a yucky storm to take a picture of! Ugh.... spring fever is the WORST!

What do you miss most about childhood?

A facebook friend presented this question this morning and it got me thinking. Those thoughts then turned into what I felt as blog worthy. This isn't something that I have really thought much about. Childhood.

child·hood/ˈCHīldˌho͝od/
Noun:
1.The state of being a child.
2.The period during which a person is a child.

By definition, childhood is just a period of time, a state of being. To me, childhood was much more than just this. Childhood is a time of growing, learning, understanding. Childhood is happy, exciting, memorable. Childhood is innocent, vulnerable, dependent. Childhood IS a period of time, but it is a period of time that molded me into the adult I am today. It is a period of time that I value. I am grateful for my childhood and forever indebted to my amazing parents for providing some great life lessons. For sacrificing so much just to be my mom and dad.

I am sure that my siblings and parents would agree that our childhood was rough. Many would say that it wasn't ideal. And it wasn't. Parents divorced when I was young... I have very few memories of being an unbroken family, that makes me sad. I do know however that my parents were better for it. They did what they needed to do in order to be the best parents that they could. I know they couldn't do that together.

We moved a lot. I had only one childhood friend that withstood all the moves... this was only because our mothers were best friends. I can't tell you where I went to Kindergarten, first, second, third, or even fourth grade. I just know that I went to a lot of schools, encountered a lot of teachers. Because of the roaming, the instability, I learned to rely greatly upon my siblings for support and entertainment. They were and are still some of my very best friends. They were solid. Our love for one another has never wavered and we still rely on one another. I am very protective of my family because throughout my childhood they were ALWAYS there when so many were walking in and out. Regardless of what trial we were pushing through, they were my stability. Throughout the years, my family has grown with abundance... I have gained a great deal of family... siblings, children, a husband, parents whom my protective nature has extended out to. It takes me a long time to let people in... but once you are in, you're in. Cross my family wrong, and forgiveness does not come easy. Some may consider this a not so good quality to have, but my family is my most valued possession if you will (though I know they aren't possessions I can't quite find the words to explain it aside from that) and I will go to great lengths to protect them.

Being a broken, dysfunctional some would call us, family may not have been ideal, but it is what we are. We may be broken, but we have created a more solid foundation than many families who remain unbroken. Why is this? I feel it is because we had to put so much trust and faith into one another. We were given an entirely different perspective of love and life. We had to fight harder. We had to be strong from a young age. We struggled, a lot... and because of that we learned responsibility. When life felt hopeless we had to pull together to make it through. We experienced losses, and learned to value what remained.

Though there is parts of my childhood I don't miss, I can say I am grateful for the bad because it taught me to appreciate the good. So to answer the question what I miss most about my childhood this is what I have. I miss sitting on my dad's lap and falling asleep on his chest. I miss my parents wiping my tears when I skinned my knee or had my feelings hurt. I miss when bandaids ALWAYS made everything better. I miss my mom teaching me to cook. I miss my dad taking my feel bads out of my ears and kissing them all better. I miss rocking out in the car with my mom and sisters to good old 80's music.... "Don't worry be happy now... Doooo do do do do do do do do dododo" "Saraaahhhhhh Sarahhhhhh No time is a good time for goodbye!!" I miss the excitement I felt those Friday evenings when I knew I got to go spend the weekend with my dad, and I miss the excitement of coming home to mom on Sunday. I miss school and learning. I miss summers spent playing with my sisters, jumping on the trampoline, sleepovers at grandparents, making up dances in the front yard. I miss making nests for the birds in my grandparents tree and watching grandpa climb his big wooden ladder to carefully place our nests as high up as he could. I miss cops and robbers... cowboys and Indians. I miss the childhood magic of Christmas when my parents paid such close attention to details like carrot shavings in the yard making those memories remain vivid in my mind. I miss camping and fishing with my dad. Sometimes I even miss being dependent on my parents.

I could go on and on about what I miss about childhood and this tells me one thing,
No matter how many highs or how many lows I experienced, I really did have a good childhood and I am grateful for it. I had the very best people by my side through it all and I am grateful for them too.

Do-It-Yourself: Suds 101

In case your wondering, this isn't a REAL how-to do-it-yourself post. This is a how-to do-it-yourself according to a 4 year old post. So, if your intent is to REALLY learn how to make your own suds or bubbly bath, please look elsewhere. HOWEVER,if you are up for a laugh, then please read on...

My adorable, creative, hands-on, brilliant son informed me today that he knows how to make "suds". Yes, suds. He has seen at some point this past week on T.V. some new bath product called suds, which on T.V. looks REALLY cool and bubbly. Nothing like how it will REALLY be if we puchased this as seen on T.V. product. They just aren't ever as cool in real life. Anyway, back to what I was saying...

As Sam climbed into the tub today he was begging me for "suds," I told him we would have to get some bubble bath from the store. When I came back in to turn off the water, Sam made himself a bubble bath. My assumption was he used the shampoo. Okay, whatever I thought... didn't question it, or pay much attention to it. He just got home from school and was telling me about his day and this little monster shape munching book he made. He was proud of it. And I was proud of him too. He then proceded to tell me "Hey mom, we don't need to buy suds anymore either... I know how to make that too." "Oh yeah, how do you do that?"

He says,
"Oh, some pee....
and some spit...
And a little shampooo...
Mix it together and you got bubbles mom!"

I gasp... "SAM! You don't need pee and spit! Just a little shampoo would work!"
"No mom, I made it today duh!"

Seriously? Who would think up this stuff?
I think I just sprouted a few more gray hairs.

A life lesson... At 6.5yrs old.

Today has been a BUSY day. Bill has yet again acquired a new (not new, but new to us) vehicle. They say women are indecisive, BUT in the Tomlin household Bill is DEFINITELY the indecisive one. Hands down, no question. If you know him, you know this is fact. Anyway, more on that "new" beast later. As a result of this new beast, (we'll call it Beast 2 cause the big blue beast (jeep) was number one) I have been going going going ALL morning long. Making insurance changes, price checking for a new windshield. On top of the attention Beast 2 is requiring, I had to do dishes, feed kids, do laundry, and get the kids showered and ready for the day before shipping Sam off to school. To put all this bluntly, I didn't have time this morning to even think. As 11:00 approached, rather quickly I might add I kicked it into "Rush" gear. We all (the kids and me) needed showers today, so one by one I tackled the showers. First Sam, then Brenna. Now Brenna she has recently decided to become even more so girly than she already is... her showers now last a minimum of 20 minutes. She moves slower than a snail on it's slowest of days. By the time both kids were showered, clothed, and lunch on the table there was not time for me to shower. I brush out my messy mop of hair and begin to dress. Brenna comes in and says, "Mom, I thought you needed a shower..." I respond, "I did, no I do, but there just isn't enough time. I will get a shower in today... Sometime." Without hesitation she exclaims with such shock behind her voice, "So your just going to go out like that... and stink?!?!" "Yes Brenna, that is exactly what I am going to do." At this point she is beyond disgusted that number one I would go out in public like this, and number two that SHE has to be seen with me... AT 6 THIS IS WHAT SHE WORRIES ABOUT?!?! Oh man am I in trouble.

So I decide to take this opportunity to provide her with a life lesson, in hopes that she will look at me in a different light on these days when a shower just isn't an option when it would be most convenient. I said to her, "Brenna, I hope that one day you will understand that a mom ALWAYS comes second... ALWAYS! As your mom, I come second." She is looking at me now, curious to what this means. "I will always make sure that you and Sam are taken care of before myself. Even if this means not taking a shower because you both need one. Even if this means sewing the straps on my ripped bras because you guys need shoes (I did this, when we were at our financial worst). Even if there are only two slices of bread to our name, you and Sam will eat them before your dad or I would ever consider touching them regardless of how hungry we are. One day I hope that you have the opportunity to come second, as a mother because there is no other love that will compare to how much I love you and your brother. Coming second is a small price to pay for the rewards and pride that comes with being your mom. I am sorry if right now this means that you are embarrassed, but I hope that one day you will appreciate that I went out in public... Like this... so that you don't have to."

I can see the understanding in her eyes now. I think she really understands what I am saying and how much I really love her. I think I may have accomplished providing her with a good life lesson. Will she remember it for her lifetime?

Moments later, that sweet, innocent face full of understanding begins to fade and she says, "Okay mom, but you still stink."

Oh boy, that lesson lasted a long time.

March Photo Day 5: A smile

If this smile doesn't melt your heart then you simply have no soul!
..... Or I'm bias.
Oh, and those DIMPLES.
I love this girl... More than she'll ever comprehend I am certain.

March Photo Day 4: Bedside

I thought to myself... "maybe I should clean off my bedside table before taking this picture," But remembered that is not the purpose of this little challenge. It is to be real. So, I left it as is. My bedside table is a cluttered mess at the moment. Really it is a cluttered mess most of the time. As you can see I get some of the best gifts from my kids and they end up at my bedside... many of them I have gotten in the wee hours of the morning. Then as I sat there adding a heading to this picture I realize just how bad it looks... Nasal Saline and M&M's. I look like a cracked out coke junkie with the munchies don't I?!?!?! Really I don't know if a druggie really gets the munchies, I've never been one so I could just be making assumptions. But really, does this look bad? HA! Don't judge!

March Photo Day 3: My Neighnorhood

I love my little town. I love my little neighborhood. I love my little house. This is home.

Cute clothes... Good prices...

A friend invited me to use Zulily for shopping. I have spent a little time browsing through their site and I am IN LOVE with their stuff. Such cute cute cute items. Check them out by clicking HERE sign up and shop to your hearts desire! I am definitely going to be purchasing Easter goods from here.

March Photo Day 2: Fruit

You may be wondering what my children have to do with fruit... Let me explain

Everything I do in my life from here on out and everything I have done for the last 7years has been for the well being of these two. To teach them and guide them through childhood and adolescence so they will become good, wholesome, intelligent, successful adults with a fulfilled life of their own. I live for them. They are the fruit of my labor.

March Photo Day 1: Up

We (Sam and I) were driving down the road the other day and Sam says, "Mom, the sun is out... we had better take a picture!" So I handed my phone over and he captured this. I felt it appropriate to share for this day one topic. He is a fun kid, most of the time.

Movin' on to March

This looks like a fun month! I'm excited about many of these topics. :)